Seven New Year's Resolutions
ONE: Housetrain my Shih Tzu and make her submit. At five-years-old she is untrained and evil—biting those who displease her, going to the bathroom in the house wherever she pleases, picking fights with my lab and my husband, and claiming large portions of the couch as hers to sleep on. I have allowed this thus far, because she is always one step away from death from the hands of my small children. But no longer. She must begin acting like other dogs…. TWO: I will read Vanity Fair—the book, not the magazine. In spite of my PhD in British lit, I have always avoided the novel. No longer. Must read and enter the world of Becky Sharp.
THREE: Thirty minutes a day of silence—this includes from the internet. Feel like I’m losing something valuable. Between the kids, the dogs, student e-mails/phone calls, work related e-mails, I feel as if I am a slave to noise, to technology. I might even step it up to an Internet Sabbath, one day I week where I don’t check e-mail or get online. (See this great article from The New York Times).
FOUR: More of a goal, than a resolution. Dr. Who needs a new assistant this next season since Amy Pond is leaving. His next assistant WILL be me.
FIVE: Will develop celebrity crush on a person who is 1) not dead and 2) not in an Austen or Brontë novel. P.S. Has anyone seen this site…Bangable Dudes in History?
SIX: Will purchase more locally grown vegetables.
SEVEN: Currently I’m a running addict. Will continue this healthy addiction, but will also do the other “slower” workouts. I will not fast-forward my yoga DVD.
What are your New Year's resolutions?